Grief Speaks Blog

I wrote this blog originally back in 2011 when my oldest was going off to college for the first time.  She is now 28 and recently got married. Like when our children go away to college, marriage is another life transition in which  parents and siblings (and children) may sometimes experience with mixed emotions. Even the happiest of life transitions may also bring with them feelings associated with the grief of letting go of how things were.   Since 2011, I have been fortunate enough to have all four of my children go away to college and yet I have also experienced some levels of grief each time. This blog has been shared annually all around the country via colleges, high school PTA's and it is quite popular on The Patch.  I have received hundreds of emails over the past seven years from parents who thanked me for articulating what they felt. I have read long notes from fathers who said they felt better knowing they were not alone as they were the only one ...

Today, January 20, 2011 was the funeral for a Lakewood, NJ police officer who was killed while in the line of duty. My daughter and I were down in Toms River, a few miles south of Lakewood, for the day visiting my mom's 82 year old cousin, who has lung cancer, and is one of the most inspirational woman I know with an amazing sense of humor and compassion for people. Since I am a grief counselor and grief educator, grief and loss are probably on my mind a lot more than most. I was supposed to visit my cousin tomorrow but with snow in the forecast I decided to see her today as I didn't want to cancel again due to snow. Hence I don't know how much longer she will be alive. She is my mom's only living relative so I try to see her as often as I can. My mother died 17 years ago, also from lung cancer, and I have learned not to take anyone's life for granted, knowing fully well that there is no guarantee that when we say goodbye in the morning to our family members, that w...